Ask Roscoe

Advice From God's America

Author’s Note: My review of Catherine Hanley’s new history of England’s Baron’s War, 1217: The Battles That Saved England (released May 7, 2024), has been briefly delayed. In its stead, I offer an installment of my humor series “Ask Roscoe: Advice From God’s America.”

Cletus’ stepdaddy’s truck.

Roscoe is not a licensed therapist, nor does he have a college degree. He went to junior college for a semester but decided he didn’t need to pay money to have some candyass teach him shit nobody cares about. 

Dear Roscoe:

Got any good catfish recipes?

Signed, Walleye Wally

Dear Wally:

One time my stepbrother Cletus and me was driving his stepdaddy’s pickup down to Possum Hollar to get drunk when the Sheriff stopped us and started askin’ Cletus all these questions about did he have a license and was this here truck registered and insured?  

Cletus just stared at him without sayin’ nothin’ cause he’d smoked up about five bowlfuls of this skunkweed he was growin’ out by the old barn. That skunkweed alwa…